The Ghost in Me

The colors in my head are vibrant. I’m not quite sure how to replicate them on canvas or in words, but I want to interpret them through my soul. I find the vividness exhilarating. Brilliant hues, purple, blue and yellow. Greens are filling the skies with splashes like voices scattered through my heart; the light is shining. The inspired craving of excitement and longing but, also fulfillment. Once I find this key, this bit of time that I can perceive and project there will be a new meaning to my life. It’s like when you close your eyes and the shapes behind your lids move like a lava lamp, growing, and shrinking. Bright then gone to black to be replaced by something new. Yellow perhaps. The dance is impactful, and I hold it tightly to me knowing I will need to let it go. There is silence, and yet the music plays. There is sadness yet, I feel a growing joy. I can’t explain it at all, but I know somehow I need to share this gift, this internal maze that is the essence of who I am. The bright colors under the surface, the light pulsing in an effortless means to escape. The truth is there, within the walls of my mind, flowing down to my heart, to my stomach, to my toes. It runs like a river in and out, up and down. The blood pumping, racing yet still, with moments of contentment. Finally, I find it, slowly coursing, inviting me towards it. A ghost, reaching for me in fuchsia with purple edges gleaming. I know I cannot resist. I lie down, comforted, surrounded, and hovering within myself. I am finding love. The melody spins me. I’m dizzy with delight, calm. I am ready to grow, to break free to release the light, the colors, the gifts, to share them outwardly with the world. To know who I am and where I stand. It is in this release that I will find myself.

Little Moments

How do you begin to forgive yourself for being unforgiving?

camotree

Namastè

©NicholeDonjè

Love Is…

Love is…

never forgetting

always wondering
asking

making time
forgiving

surrendering to life

profound

constantly moving
unselfish

never cruel
taking chances

listening

a gentle caress
a sensual kiss

a reassuring glance

a rollercoaster ride

a pool of confusion
foolish in the eyes of many

sad for those who know it not

an emptying of souls
a filling of hearts

unpolluted whispers
wings of freedom

infinity

bare feet on warm silky sands

bananas in your cereal
a good beer and Mexican food

chocolate on ice cream
a popsicle in the summer

orange juice with breakfast
sunshine on a crystal clear stream

a day off in hectic times

smiling freely

feeling playful
dancing in the rain

swimming in the moonlight
making love under the stars or in the sun

feeling the open air on your skin

embracing your life

finding your way in the darkest of times
Knowing you are not alone

This all is Love

Namastè

©NicholeDonjè

My 10 Minute Rants

2/15/17

Sometimes I am so full of energy I am not quite sure what to do with it. In fact, I overwhelm myself so much that I shut down to some extents. Right now in my life is an oddly troubling time, but as I sit in it, this strange phenomenon seems to be happening. I am getting sparked. I am all of a sudden inundated with ideas and possible connections. It seems like people are reaching out and I want to give…give…give. I fear to spread myself too thin. I’m apprehensive to take on too much. In reality, I dread my life passing to quickly as it often does when my energy gets the best of me. I go…go…go until all of a sudden it’s two years later, and I realize I don’t even know where I’m heading anymore. I will say, this time feels different. I feel ready for something; I’m not quite sure what, but I believe it’s coming and coming fast. I am more aware of myself than I have ever been, more content and calm than I have ever known and oddly more stable, as unstable as my current situation is. But there is this openness, this flow I do not want to plug. It is rushing forward. It’s personal, it’s professional, and it’s political. I am in a black hole rushing through to the other side, not knowing when I will be thrust out into the unknown. I don’t want to lose myself; I want to keep a clear head. I don’t want to focus on what’s hard, but instead, on what’s possible. My true nature is emerging as it did in my late teens and early twenties, but without the baggage that held me down. It is all me. I want clarity. I seek the truth, I am ready to understand my purpose, and I am scared as hell! There is a ship awaiting me on the other side of this wormhole, and I will happily set out on this crazy endeavor with my voice loud and powerful. I know deep down that this year will help define me in one way or another. And finally, I believe that is a good thing. It is time for that rock that has been weighing me down deep inside to be passed, tossed out into the atmosphere to break apart and turn to dust, the stardust that will guide me.

Namastè

©NicholeDonjè

A Destination

310534_10151182939668258_1533130375_n

I seek a destination
in the blurred lines
of my consciousness.

Now
is not necessarily
where I reside.

It’s in the distance
in the past where
I find myself lingering
Searching for the answer

I am only present
in fleeting moments,
like a buzzing sound
flashing by me as I sleep

How do I stop traveling?
Savor the now?

The air is only sweet
when I take it in deeply.

Namastè
©NicholeDonjè

Little Moments

There is a beautiful madness in an unplanned day.

img_9951

Namastè

©NicholeDonjè