Always remember; today is but a blip.
The colors in my head are vibrant. I’m not quite sure how to replicate them on canvas or in words, but I want to interpret them through my soul. I find the vividness exhilarating. Brilliant hues, purple, blue and yellow. Greens are filling the skies with splashes like voices scattered through my heart; the light is shining. The inspired craving of excitement and longing but, also fulfillment. Once I find this key, this bit of time that I can perceive and project there will be a new meaning to my life. It’s like when you close your eyes and the shapes behind your lids move like a lava lamp, growing, and shrinking. Bright then gone to black to be replaced by something new. Yellow perhaps. The dance is impactful, and I hold it tightly to me knowing I will need to let it go. There is silence, and yet the music plays. There is sadness yet, I feel a growing joy. I can’t explain it at all, but I know somehow I need to share this gift, this internal maze that is the essence of who I am. The bright colors under the surface, the light pulsing in an effortless means to escape. The truth is there, within the walls of my mind, flowing down to my heart, to my stomach, to my toes. It runs like a river in and out, up and down. The blood pumping, racing yet still, with moments of contentment. Finally, I find it, slowly coursing, inviting me towards it. A ghost, reaching for me in fuchsia with purple edges gleaming. I know I cannot resist. I lie down, comforted, surrounded, and hovering within myself. I am finding love. The melody spins me. I’m dizzy with delight, calm. I am ready to grow, to break free to release the light, the colors, the gifts, to share them outwardly with the world. To know who I am and where I stand. It is in this release that I will find myself.
I seek a destination
in the blurred lines
of my consciousness.
is not necessarily
where I reside.
It’s in the distance
in the past where
I find myself lingering
Searching for the answer
I am only present
in fleeting moments,
like a buzzing sound
flashing by me as I sleep
How do I stop traveling?
Savor the now?
The air is only sweet
when I take it in deeply.
Little moments like stars shine always, no matter the darkness.
How does time change pace?
I need to find my moment,
and let the rest go.
Working on my view;
sorting through the fear,
walking on the ledge.
THE WHO AM I PROJECT? Finding myself through the layers of my own baggage, bullshit and fear
Take 2 – The Foundation
A good foundation
Supports who we are inside
To build and sustain.
So as I dive in this month I realize I need to set the foundation for what is I am planning over this coming year. Truly it is about intention. What is my intention with writing this book and these blog posts? What is my intention for the year to help fully guide me through month to month?
I will say I have five intentions for the year that I will work to breakdown for myself in doable chunks each month. Every task I do and choice I make must serve these intentions.
Here they are:
• To discover, accept, live and speak my truth
• To know, embrace, nurture and love who I am as I am
• To be vulnerable and compassionate, live openly and fully, and take chances wholeheartedly
• To learn how to truly listen and be present in each moment
• To trust myself, to release control, to just do
I am truly curious how I’ll accomplish this, but I think that is part of the fun; the excavation and the discovery. The minute I make this post, I am allowing myself to work through my ideas and thoughts “openly”, I am “trusting” myself and being “vulnerable”. The interesting thing is that as much as that excites me, it makes me extremely uncomfortable. Pushing through this discomfort however I believe is what will help answer my ultimate question, Who Am I? Which will lead me to my finding my purpose.
Do you have any intentions that you live by? If so what are they and what are the things you do to ensure you stay on point? I’d love to hear.
I am moved by the wind. How it recites to me in whimsy the colors of the sunset, the secrets of the trees. I often laugh as it shares the giddiness of its antics; toying with the birds pushing them back as they labor forward then toppling trash cans and blaming raccoons. There is so much to learn if one eavesdrops thoughtfully and observes her variance. It takes patience to understand her divergent ways and I embrace each distinction. It fuels me on a quiet day. It satisfies me when I am lost.