Such an interesting day. I had a deep conversation about what I want and how to get. Or really, my issues around why I need to understand WHY I’m not living up to my own expectations. I fascinate myself at how complicated I like to make things. The idea of “just do it” somehow needs to have reasoning and planning behind it, which of course defeats the purpose! There is this need for everything to have meaning and that must be considered no matter how trivial what I want to do is.
I have, in this strange place and age in my life, forgotten the freedom of whatever. There doesn’t have to be a reason. I just want to. Yes that little recording in my head plays, “but, why, what if, how, etc and so on”. I’m determined find and embrace “who cares” again. React to my impulses and just do it!
Why…well who the f%&*%k cares!