Today

I am sad today.  There is sadness in the air. I have friends who have lost loved ones and pets, there is illness all around and there are people I love so dearly that are lost.  I’ve worked so hard for so many years to not be sad, yet today I must admit I am.  I am lucky that it doesn’t go to my core, that I can lift myself up and ask for hugs and supportive words and they are there.  But what for those who cannot hear them?

Life is such an adventure, but it does need skills to navigate.  There are storms and death, loss and fear; but there is also hope and peace.  I remember times when I thought peace was not to be a part of my adventure that it was for those who seemed perky and fun, those who learned to laugh and play.  But that changed. I remember they day I said to myself why not me?  At that moment an opportunity posed itself.  The simple opportunity to find the good in what was happening in my life. Once I saw that, all of a sudden opportunities were everywhere, it was frightening.

I started to ask myself…were these opportunities here before?  I realized that, yes…they were but my eyes were closed, my heart was shut off and my body shut down.  All of a sudden in my life opportunity was everywhere, almost overwhelming me.  What do I do, which do I choose, do I take them all…wait…I Am Afraid.  WHY?

Fear: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Amazing “an unpleasant emotion”.  This is what keeps us from living our lives, our truth and often from being happy.  The scary part of this is that what we fear is ourselves.  We are so afraid of being uncomfortable we don’t allow ourselves to live, to be free.  We fear what we would be if we could and yet, that’s all most people say they want.  Life can be uncomfortable, yes.  I will wholeheartedly admit that.  But it is working through the discomfort that helps us get through the next.  Each time things get a little easier and sometimes....sometimes we grow to find joy in the challenges.  We learn the difference between discomfort and danger.  We begin to trust our instinct and avoid “fight or flight” and instead stand tall and observe, deciding to make a choice to stay or go, to stop or run, to laugh or cry and most importantly to be okay with that.

I have learned to stop, to take a moment and breathe. To ask myself “are you okay?”  What is really happening, am I simply afraid because I do not know?  I am not always successful, but what I am is alive. I am living and breathing and taking chances simply because they are there for me to take; because that is what it means to be alive.

I am sad today for those going through loss.  I am sad today for those with no hope.  I am sad today for people I love.  I am sad today for not being able to fix it for you all.

Look up. Breathe. Stand tall. Take the time to laugh…or cry. See the opportunities floating by. Hold tight to the love and not the pain. Remember that you are a gift to everyone around you and those those you lost were a gift to you that will always hold space in your heart.

May laughter and love embed itself in you today, tomorrow and whenever you choose to embrace it.

Namaste : “I bow to the divine in you.”

 

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Author: Finding True North

Nichole Donje is a interdisciplinary artist, activist and leader. A philosopher and self-exploration addict, Nichole is currently working on two books of art and poetry FINDING TRUE NORTH and LIFE POEMS. She is a visual artist and photographer. Nichole founded and ran the highly regarded New York City based independent theatre company TAPT/The Artist’s Playground Theatre, from 2006-2016. Serving as TAPT’s Artistic Director, Nichole worked diligently to support new and forgotten works that help shape the way we view the world around us. A recognized leader, Nichole served three terms as Vice President of the Board of Directors for The Players and currently served on the Executive Committee. The Players is the oldest theatrical club in the country founded by such luminaries as Edwin Booth and Mark Twain "for the promotion of social intercourse between the representative members of the dramatic profession and the kindred professions of literature, painting, sculpture and music, and the patrons of the arts". A key influencer of the Players current revitalization she has become an advocate for the art and livelihood of a social club. The Players not only honors yesterday’s and today’s luminaries of the performing arts, but also brings back the forgotten art of face to face relationships. Nichole is a member of SAG-AFTRA, LPTW/League of Professional Theatre Women, LeanInNYC, and The Players.

2 thoughts on “Today”

  1. Thank you. I have a lot of the same things going on today that you were talking about: a friend’s mom just had another stroke, my dad having a bad pain in his back that seems to be radiating around-could be kidneys, could it be gallbladder who knows? So yes, there is a lot of sadness and fear around today. Thank you for being the voice of light and love.

    Ellyn Typed on an iPhone (sorry for typos)

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